someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
