apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
