i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
