my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
