Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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