just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize