do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize