Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
