I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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