I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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