If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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