operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
