I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think your dad took our porno
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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