I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
