Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
