how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
