remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
