dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
