apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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