My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
