You smell like stripper and shame
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
worst night to have a conscience
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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