Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
