i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
