I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
