So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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