Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
