He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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