His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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