I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize