Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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