Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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