2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
