You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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