I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
