i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
