Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
