Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
