Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
