You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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