I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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