Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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