i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
