Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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