i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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