Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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