Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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