hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
