Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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