Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
