An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
