So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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