by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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