i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
