"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
