I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
