wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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