and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
