actually, I'm a sock model
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
