This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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