WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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